Could You Be Living With an Abusive Person?

Although it rarely makes the news here, Muskego is no stranger to incidents of domestic abuse. However, Muskego Police have offered some tips to help residents prevent a bad situation from becoming worse.

"Whenever a person is a victim of abuse, the natural question is, how did the victim come to be in the situation that led to the abuse? While it is never the victim’s fault when they are abused, there are some early warning signs of an abuser that potential victims can look for to help avoid being put in the position to be abused," said Lt. Dave Constantineau.

The following characteristics and warning signs are provided by LiveSecure.org: 

1. A history of abuse as a child, to include psychological, physical, and possibly sexual abuse. 

2. A history of verbal and physical abuse of his/her parents, siblings, friends, and even animals. 

3. A history of vandalism or minor crimes to include those of violence, whether or not a matter of legal record. 

4. A lack of a positive male role model in the home, or the presence of an abusive male or female authority figure in the early or formative years. 

5. The exhibition of a violent temper or a “low boiling point.” 

6. The need to be in control of all situations and especially the need to control or dominate those closest to him/her. 

7. Unusual jealousy or “spying” on the abused person. 

8. Viewing and owning pornographic materials, particularly bondage or child pornography. 

9. Alcohol and other kinds of significant substance abuse. 

10. Either a very low or an exceedingly high self-image; a “macho” man, possibly connected to physical stature, educational background, or professional occupation. 

11. An inability to talk about or discuss personal feelings. 

12. Insensitivity to the feelings of others. 

13. Frequent lying, many times for no apparent reason. 

14. The inability to admit guilt in any situation. 

Constantineau added, "It is important to remember that a person exhibiting some of these traits is not automatically an abusive person. In fact, non-abusive individuals may also exhibit some of these characteristics at points in their lives, but with less frequency and duration than abusive individuals. An abusive individual may, and often will exhibit a number of the above listed characteristics at the same time. This list is not an absolute, but meant as food for thought."